I did not have a plan By Marisa Bernhard

I did not have a plan…Nope, I did not –

Let that be my epitaph!

Now I’m invisible —yes, now you see me, now you don’t —how convenient.

How did the memo get lost? I waited…

Any day now, I thought they would get it – but they did not

Were they able to see that we are the actual power

that every single time A HE RAN A COMB THROUGH HIS THINNING HAIR- he wondered.

Yet, A SHE knows with more confidence and conviction of a deadpan stare.

But now I’m not here anymore, I am invisible

I have skills… I know things…

You see, no one wants to hear about my skills or what I know.

NOPE, they all have their ears pressed to the walls, wanting to know what my long-term goals are instead.

Today I’m going to laugh out loud

Tomorrow I might smile really big and wide

Next week God will visit me, and she will whisper a joke in my ear…

Then next month the Devil will test me.

How is that for a long-term goal… sounds like a ride!

Do you think they meant a five-year plan?

How the fuck do I know what five years will look like if a commitment cannot be promised ….

Did you all know I did not have a plan… yet it is astonishing how we are still not in charge.

I am shocked that, with all my skills and everything I know, you would rather see me settle into an abyss.

Hmm, but I don’t need to wonder, my dear darling – I know things; I have skills.

I stare long and hard at nothing, letting you all know

I am not fading away –

I did not have a plan

Engrave that on my fucking gravestone one hundred years from now

I’m not going anywhere!